The Beautiful Writers Workshop: #10

I know it’s been a couple of weeks and I don’t expect this blog post is going to wow anyone or cause massive social change. It may not even get read, after all, I’m not here to give you the latest updates and numbers and calamity that’s been shouting, ceaselessly, in our faces for the last few weeks.

I’m here to tell you I’m not ok. As my friend sid says, my “give-a-shitter” is effectively broken and I haven’t been able to write much of anything. I swing from anxiety for my parents and at-risk loved ones to rebellious trips to the grocery store for an onion and a bottle of shampoo.

It shouldn’t make sense that I’m not writing, I have so much time, right? So much freedom to not go out and just hang in my pajamas. An introvert should be ecstatic that she no longer has to find excuses to not attend social obligations. But this introvert is also distrustful of the institution that has so easily taken the choice. This introvert has gone from someone who had at least a few hours alone time in the day for free-thinking, to someone who is a full-time-stay-at-home-mom-teacher-comforter-researcher-scientist-gym teacher-housekeeper-spanish teacher-stoic-source-of-calm who feels inadequate at all of it and obligated to keep being the ideal citizen. I should be able to thrive under any condition you put me in and raise a fine bunch of kids while doing it.

But I’m not thriving. Not creatively. Not in any way.

I sit down, in front of screen or page and the ideas that I know are bundled up inside feel trapped, covered by a very particular sense of gray and a heavy blanket of anxiety. I don’t have the luxury of this time. Shouldn’t I be planning a lesson or getting my kids out for a walk, or writing some cheery optimistic chalk bullshit on my neighborhood sidewalks so we don’t forget ‘we’re in this together!” Of course we’re in this together, we’ve got no other choice. It’s like walking into a prison and have some lemon-sunshine blond smile with perfect teeth and giggling “Welcome to Camp! We’re gonna have loads of fun! Just go with it! Oh, and if you complain you’re a vile piece of shit who doesn’t care about your neighbors! Here’s your pajamas and a set of sidewalk chalk!”

Overall, its as if my mind is holding in all of this beautiful stuff, interesting threads of story and plot in its sweaty, clenched hands and it looks at the world shouting the same repetitive rhetoric around, shrugs and says, “why bother?” Then pretty soon those ideas fade under the weight of gray around them. Until they disappear completely and all that’s left is the repetitive rhetoric.

So this lesson has no title. It has no direction. Except to say this, these are strange and harrowing times. You can argue there is hope in the social solidarity we are forming from six-feet away. But something feels off about this and I don’t know how the history of it will be written. So, I’m journaling every day. Words others will probably never see. Thoughts that can be as dark and complex or stupid and shallow as I need them to be on that particular day.

So that’s your assignment for the remaining weeks of this thing. Journal. The thoughts, fears, anxieties, joys (if you can find them good for your sunshine-blond soul), that change in every moment with the wobble of this event. Someday you may come back to it, read and remember. Or you may chose to burn it and hope never to go back to the person you were in those moments of dark. History is going to be written from these events, don’t let theirs be the only version.

Oh, and get outside. Its the only thing that’s saved me from some severe physical/mental damages (minor ones are still fair game). It’s actually quite pleasant when you can catch nature on her own.

The Beautiful Writers Workshop #9: Mental Floss

My daughter and I recently had an interesting discussion due to a class assignment on mental health concerning OCD, depression, and various other mental challenges. Trying to explain some of the behaviors and levels of severity made me think about my own quirks and habits that can be both positive and bordering on detrimental.

 

Creativity comes with certain mental “flourishes” that often translate into some pretty tortured souls out there, creating brilliant works of art, whether it be through paint, words, sculpture or music. In fact, I think society tends to think one almost must be tortured in some way to create.

I was listening to an interesting podcast with Florence, from Florence and The Machine, and along with her brilliant Scottish accent I was captivated by her story of alcoholism and how she used to think she had to drink to be creative. That she had to suffer, and to be spiraling down to really get to the good stuff of the soul and write music that mattered.

But then she sobered up and realized that it actually got easier to write without the heavy chained idea that suffering is the only way to make meaningful art.

It got me to thinking about how we can turn the chaos inside, into something beautiful by not fearing it. By not suppressing it or numbing it. By accepting the quirk that is you.

It’s like the person with OCD who uses their energies to post-it the hell out of an outline instead of writing “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy,” five-hundred times.

It’s all about how we use our quirks.

This week’s workshop is about finding your quirk. I don’t just want the strange dance you do when you walk through a spiderweb kind of quirk. I want the chronic kind. The one that makes you desperate for a piece of wood to knock on when the slightest terrifying thought crosses your mind. Or that makes you have to park in the same spot at the grocery store, every time.

Write a bit about your quirk, then go a level deeper and see what comes up. Why do you think you do it? Do you remember when it started? What fear drives it? What desire does it fulfill or captivate inside of you?

How can you shift it to work towards your advantage in your life and in your writing?

If you can’t think of anything, can you use your quirk IN writing as a character trait and follow how it changes your character’s life, behavior, and relationships. Write a poem about it and get past the grizzle and into the bone, or find the ridiculous humor of it to laugh at.

Self-reflection isn’t always easy and we often discover things we didn’t know were hiding in there. You aren’t required to share, but allow yourself to hurdle over the fear and discomfort to know thyself a bit better. Turn your downward spirals into whirlwind of thought and brilliance. See you next week.

The Beautiful Writers Workshop #8: I Made You a Mixed Tape

Hello beautiful writers, how are we wordsmithing this week? (heck yes wordsmithing is a verb). Were you able to come up with some inspiration from the well of words that is Merriam-Webster?

On this installment of the workshop we’re going to shift our focus from the power of words to the power of music and what it means for our creativity.

Now, I think I’ve written on this topic before so I may be borrowing from some past inspiration, but I think it bears repeating that music has a very influential role on all of us as humans and how we make neurological connections in the process of creativity.

As a writer, I’ve met the broad spectrum of those who couldn’t possibly have the distraction of sound and voice beside them while composing their stories to those who couldn’t bear to have the room silent. You know your own style and needs best and you aren’t required to practice any of these methods I give you, but I encourage you to try a few things to see if it affects your ability to create.

If you write to music, what do you prefer? 

In my experience, it depends greatly on what I’m writing. Sometimes I chose the music based on the scene I’m trying to create, or the mood that I want to convey. Sometimes the music is based solely on the character whose perspective I’m writing from, and what I think the soundtrack of their life looks like.

(ahem, in case you weren’t aware: we all have a soundtrack of our life, it’s what plays in our heads as the day progresses and during those times of elation or sadness…don’t believe me? Sit still with your thoughts for a couple of hours and see what little dittys pop up.)

When I write poetry I listen to something more instrumental and flowing, because the words in my head can’t be confused with any other words outside of it, When I write essays for my classes, classical music is fine but I have to stay away from rock because it breaks my focus and makes me randomly use my highlighter for a mic while I stand on my desk and belt out “My Sharona”. I once spent a few months embroiled in the genre of country, waist deep in Kenny Chesney and George Strait tracks, writing a romance novel about a country star trying to start his life over. This certainly helped: Tip of my tongue

Remember, singers and songwriters are creatives, people who understand emotion and the depth of lyrical effect. They are poets and expansive to our own work.

So this week’s assignment is to explore music as a way to get in touch with the mood of your scenes, the background and feelings of your characters, and inspire you to create more flowing and free works of art. I’ve listed a few of my favorite albums, artists and songs to write by lately, and remember I’m a romance novelist so…these aren’t going to be everyone’s jam.

The Pride and Prejudice Soundtrack: Pride and Prejudice

Brandi Carlile’s Bear Creek Album

Hozier (anything by that beautiful Irish, nature-jesus is golden by me)

The Head and the Heart “Down in the Valley” and “Rivers and Roads”

A Fine Frenzy

Ray LaMontagne

Jason Isbell (former front singer of The Drive By Truckers)

The Civil Wars

First Aid Kit

Kina Grannis’ cover of “Iris” Iris

Ruston Kelly

Anderson East

This one from Ashley Monroe is a favorite ‘mood’ song: Hands on You

Ruth B.

Wow, I could go on all day, but I DO have other things to get to. I hope you have a musically inspired day.

Good luck out there, and let me know what you prefer to write to. Even if it’s silence.