Word of the Month: Obtenebrate

Nothing’s sexier than a good vocabulary, so let’s get hot? At the very least, let’s learn a new word.

Today, I used the very scientific method of flipping to a random page in the “Dictionary of the Strange, Curious & Lovely”, by Robin Devoe and closing my eyes to point to a word. That word, was obtenebrate. To which my brain and tongue had to slow down and work together for a few seconds. Tongue to back of teeth, lips puffing. It feels like a word that would provide the hearty mouthfeel for spoken poetry. And it rhymes with other gems like, confiscate, innumerate, postulate, adulterate, articulate…and now I’ll probably be working on a poem later.

It’s a fun word to say. But the meaning, hit a little too close to the heart, particularly this week.

Obtenebrate: To darken or make dark; to enshadow a thing; to obscure.

The word itself, comes from the late Latin obtenebratus, past participle of obtenebrare to darken, from Latin ob- to, toward, over + tenebrare to darken, from tenebrae darkness, and also shares roots with the Portuguese trevas (darkness or gloom).

And whereas there are a lot of different directions towards gloominess I could take this post today, (aren’t we living in a space and time where a malevolent shadow in a bad spray tan is constantly covering us?) I want to talk about it in terms of ourselves. Our own psyches and perceptions of the world. Beyond the simplifications of being classified as an optimist or a pessimist, I’ve noticed, particularly in the case of a dear friend, the uncanny ability of the mind to obtenebrate itself.

But why does it do this? Why do we do this? This dance with darkness that quickly spirals into an ocean of shadows too deep to keep our heads up?

During a weekly Buddhist gathering, we talked about the concept of being entwined without becoming entangled. To be present without absorbing. To always come back to one’s self, in a world that is constantly pulling us and scarring us with traumatic happenings. All of which, by the way, add up in our physical bodies and in our reactions and fears towards others. From childhood and the father who was abusive, through college and the professor who said we’d never be a writer, to the poor reviews or rejections of lovers…the body remembers, the mind tries to protect. And in doing so, both become entangled. Gnarled roots take hold, darkness shadows over our thoughts, clouding our vision and perception of the world. Until we no longer remember what a bright day looks like. This darkening is cyclical. It feeds on itself, growing larger, and expanding over more and more. Our memories, our achievements, our hopes…the people who love us.

It feels like “the Nothing” from Neverending Story, a bit, doesn’t it?

And to watch it happening to someone you love (or even yourself if you have that kind of self-awareness) is a frightening thing indeed. Because shadows don’t listen to reason. Darkness is too accustom to swallowing light, to pause and ask if it belongs there. Where there are scars, the obtenebration plants seeds. Grows more darkness. Until it can feel like there isn’t much warmth or light worth sticking around for.

And I’m not smart enough to offer solutions. Because the undeniable truth of our own birth and death means that the constant state of existence is one of entropy. And if the shadows are dark enough, perhaps you can only see the decay, the breakdown, the demise. Maybe you don’t yet understand that the breakdown often happens to feed something deeper, brighter that will cycle back around out of the shadows. Maybe we have, for too long, overcomplicated our own wounds, become entangled by them, and forget that we are the only ones capable of hacking through the briar patch of shadows. Maybe we don’t think there’s a reason to bother.

Look, I only have forty some years of experience, but what I do know, from nature, and from my own cycles of loss, and suffering, is that shadows and clouds, night, and darkness, all come through, and then…eventually they are broken apart and carried away by the light, the wind, and the dawn. Yes they come back. Because the only truth of life is change. But instead of running to stay beneath the shadows of those dark clouds, perhaps we can sit still. Come back to ourselves. Shine our own light on these wounds, these entanglements. Work to understand them and, this is the important part, find a way to love and accept. So that maybe the next time the world obtenebrates our lives, we are not allowing it to entangle us.

Take care of yourself. Accept the shadows that come, but don’t invite them to stay. It’s a waste of your one, precious life.

Photo by Javier Balseiro on Pexels.com

“Idlewild” from “The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows” by John Koenig

Let’s learn a new word, kids.

When I found this lovely book, I wanted to share it with everyone I loved. Then I realized that I’m a complete nerd and blossoming basket case, and not everyone finds language and expression of pin-point emotions so fascinating as I do. But if you do like those things, check it out. Today we’re going to be talking about idlewild. But first, a word or two about sorrow.

The word sadness originally meant “fullness”, from the same Latin root satis (which gives us satisfaction and sated). Not so long ago, to be sad meant to be filled with the intensity of an experience. Or as an empath, I like to call it every, normal day. Sadness was not a malfunction of your brain’s “joymaking” machine, it was a state of awareness. The ability to take all of life in, the joy and grief. Today we tend to think of sadness as only the absence of hope, or simply-put despair. I think I prefer the idea that sadness or sorrow is more of an over-filling of emotion, a realization that everything is fleeting, all moments are once-in-a-lifetime, and that you care about something enough to let it into your tender heart.

Photo by Nirmal Rajendharkumar on Pexels.com

And now, let’s talk about “idlewild“

The book describes idlewild as feeling grateful to be stranded in a place where you can’t do much of anything–sitting for hours at an airport gate, train station, or back of a car enroute. This temporary alleviation of the burden to be doing something can often free up your brain to do whatever it wants to do. Most noticeably, daydream, a past time many of us no longer feel the freedom to do. (From Idelwild, the original name of JFK International Airport in New York).

I decided on this word because I knew it would make some of us cringe over our coffee cups. What do you mean, sit and do nothing? How does one feel grateful for not being productive, as society so often demands of us? Precisely the reason, my friend, why this occurrence is so important. Especially for creatives.

Listen I’m the first to admit that I find being strapped into a plane, train, or automobile as one of the most productive experiences for me and my writing. Let’s face it, when there’s no laundry, or pets, or children, or cleaning, or appointments, etc that need taken care of, and I’m stuck unmoving for a few hours, it’s the perfect ‘butt-in-chair” time a busy writer needs. But recently I’ve found, especially after a few writing slumps, that sometimes the mind just needs to do nothing. Nothing productive I mean. It needs to be silly. It needs to stare across the landscape and wonder. It needs to wander to destinations that don’t have meanings or books attached to them. No futures or pasts. It needs to think about strange what ifs and in the same moments let them go like clouds passing overhead.

Photo by ilia Afsharpoor on Pexels.com

This freedom to let your silly little neurons, memories, knowledge banks, and disconnected oddities play on the same unoccupied playground is one of the best things you can do for yourself. It not only helps in future creativity and problem solving but it’s like giving your brain a recess from all the relentless details and doomscrolling in the day. I’ve honestly found that I enjoy staring off into space and playing thought leap-frog much more than being drawn into that annoying little screen always selling me hormone supplements and bondage wear? (Listen, I don’t have to explain my algorithm to anyone)

So whether you write, or paint, or sing, or…build buildings or teach five-year-olds, I encourage and prod you a bit to practice idlewild this week. In the waiting rooms, the bus rides, the elevator, the pick-up line. Instead of reaching for your phone, stare off into the distance and pull back the curtains to what your mind has wondered about lately. Not to do lists, or what you should be doing, but noticing the color of the horizon, or counting the trees in the painting your dentist hung up, or making up strange and humorous character situations about the people on your bus. Find a little wild in your idleness.

See you next week.

Word(s) of the Month: Lacrimae Rerum

In a slight deviation from last month, I’m looking through a different book by Robin Devoe. “Dictionary of the Rare, Creative, and Beautiful” is a book with strange and beautiful words but also “cool-sounding names from history, poetry et alia“. There are some fascinating and funny examples in this book (take for example: Brandolini’s Law or the BS asymmetry principle which states that the amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than that needed to produce it. AKA every day of Trump Administration en toto.)

Today though, we’re going to talk about lacrimae rerum which at first sounded like some kind of yarn art that you do over and over… ha. hahahahahaa… See my past post on malapropisms if you have a hard time understanding what my weird little brain does. But no. This is not a rerun of macramé. This is something much sadder.

Lacrimae rerum is latin for: the inherent tragedy or sadness of human existence; literally: tears of things.

The inherent sadness of our existence. The undeniable knowledge that is taught to us by almost every world religion, and made concrete with every scientific revelation. We are impermanent. And most of the the little time we have in our conscious, physical existence is plagued with suffering. Not just physical suffering of a body that springs up in painful-bone growth ways, but also begins to decay and hurt as we age. Add to that the inevitable pain of wanting things and people (to stay the same, to have, to love, to pay attention to etc.) and not ever really having them. Suffering is caused by wanting, desiring, and never being able to have in perpetuity. Because there is also the universality of change. Everything will always change. So we can never really hold on to anything.

Along with that, there is a certain sadness in knowing our own mortality. While it can be a great driving force to experience and live our lives more fully, it can also leave us feeling regretful that we don’t have more time or perhaps have ‘squandered’ said time on ‘unworthy’ pursuits. It has yet to be proven or disproven whether any other animal on Earth has consciousness of it’s own death, and what that means in terms of its very existence being snuffed out. We do know that some animals practice rituals around death, and even grieve. But do they see in themselves, the ending of it all? Do they wonder if there’s something afterwards? What a horrible price to pay for such big and beautiful brains, am I right?

When we think of inherent anything, I feel like it’s short sighted to believe that there is only one inherent emotion. I have seen too many humans with inherent joy at their existence, to think that it’s all just sadness. Perhaps when the phrase was coined, it came about to explain the great tragedies of the time and of the stage. Perhaps it was to bring us all back down a notch and remember our sadness. Hey, you kids! Stop eating, drinking, and being merry! Have you forgotten tomorrow we die? Focus on worthy pursuits so your one wild life is not lived in vain! Or some such nonsensical mashup of ancient Greece and Mary Oliver.

But perhaps being aware (all this goddamn awareness) of our inherent sadness…our bone-deep tragedy of loss, of disappointment, of death, is the ocean we must build seawalls against in order to actually live. Don’t get me wrong, we all deserve a good ‘woe-is-me’ fainting on the couch moment. And I’m a huge proponent of painfully hard, cathartic crying once in a blue moon, but what if we can build a sturdy wall to stand on amidst it all. A rampart against the pounding waves, and ever rising and falling tides, to watch the swells from? If our hearts and brains (those stupid, beautiful, big brains) were meant to be awash in tragedy, then I believe we were also built to notice, accept, and eventually find beauty in the tears of all our things. We grieve because we love. We fight against losing, because we love. We miss, we pine, we ache, because we love. So maybe the great sadness of things is really our funny little human hearts constantly saying; ‘this is beautiful to feel this sadness. This is beautiful because it means I care. This hurt is beautiful because I would not and do not cry over what I do not care for. This is beautiful because a lifetime of loss comes from a lifetime of loving. Of being in love with the inherent act of living. Of knowing it is short. Of knowing we will lose. Of still wanting to love despite it all.

So…as you go about your day, and you find yourself down from some unavoidable loss, or tearing up over something tragic, and you start to think of the great lacrimal sea of sadness inside of you, I hope that you find the purpose in it all to still smile. Life is a beautiful, tragic, heartbreaking, enigmatic ride that no one prepares you for, and no one can tell you how to do properly. Except to love it. In all its joy. And especially in all its sadness.

Word of the Month: Irenic

From the “Dictionary of the Strange, Curious, and Lovely”:

Your word of the month is irenic: promoting peace, conciliatory, peaceful; [from the Greek eirēnē peace] or if you want the Webster’s official: favoring, conducive to, or operating toward peace, moderation, or conciliation

In Greek mythology, Eirene was one of the Horae, the goddesses of the seasons and natural order who in the Iliad are the custodians of the gates of Olympus. According to the Greek poet Hesiod, the Horae were the daughters of Zeus and a Titaness named Themis, and each had a name indicating her function and relation to human life. Eirene (in Greek Eirēnē, meaning “peace”) was the goddess of peace. Her name gave rise to irenic and other peaceable terms including irenics (a theological term for advocacy of Christian unity), and the name Irene.

What do we think of when we consider a move toward peace, or living in such a way that we are constantly striving towards moderation, conciliatory behavior, or striving for a world of working together? It seems like a Herculean task, honestly. We (or perhaps I just mean myself) can tend towards defensive and sometimes offensive behavior when our values, communities, and lives are threatened, and I am often torn between wanting to remain committed to peace, and the understanding that sometimes it is necessary to take a stronger stand to protect others (I even have “the sword doesn’t write poetry and the pen doesn’t win battles” tattooed on my body). But even in that, and thinking of the struggle to stay peaceful I think of the saying ‘fighting for peace, is like fucking for abstinence’. Is that even a saying or did I make it up?

Either way, operating towards peace feels pretty foreign right now, I’m not going to lie. With our country embroiled in a war no one asked for or wanted, and the heartless killing and destruction of another human’s land and people, unlawful imprisonment of human beings, the unchecked and unpunished sexual assault on women and children by people in positions of power, peace seems like a flimsy concept, no more concrete than an ever-changing and quickly dispersing cloud.

So how do we, as single and rather powerless individuals, artists, parents, and conscientious observers work towards a way that embodies an irenic existence?

I’m truly asking.

Because all I can come up with is by keeping our protests strong but peaceful. By not physically harming human life in our quest to find justice (but an unpersoned warehouse of a moral-less, greed-filled capitalist who doesn’t pay their workers a living wage? I didn’t see anyone strike that match, and even if I did, I didn’t). All I can think is that we protect our own, personal peace by staying informed but not being caught up in the mental barrage of over-played and cyclical horrors purposefully fed to us by social media. All I can think is that we cultivate peace, caring, and empathy in our communities and homes. We take care of others, we give our time and resources to those in need, we step away and breathe when anger and ignorance springs up from the comment section. We keep asking ourselves, what’s the good fight? What takes care of the most people? How do we keep the most vulnerable safe and live in such a way that when we step into a room or conversation, any inciting temperature lowers to calm.

How do we do that?

I’m not entirely sure. I guess, by listening, really listening, not just to the words expressed but the feelings that have driven them out into the open. By not taking it as a personal attack, even when it feels that way. (Toddlers lash out the same way a lot of people in comments sections do. If you take those repetitive, brainwashed phrases and replace them with ‘nuh uh’, or ‘my dad could beat up your dad’, you can really see through the façade of righteousness to the insecurity that drives it). By relaying back, “I see that this upsets you, that you are scared and that’s okay. It means you care and there’s something important you fear losing.” Perhaps would open enough space that we could start a conversation. One that cuts through ideologies to the core of our shared humanity. The challenge is in knowing that this proffered olive branch is not always returned by the other side. The idea of rational, thoughtful, genuine empathy is often misconstrued (and brainwashed into the masses) as ‘weakness’.

But we have to try right? I want to believe so. I want to hope that the current, boiling and murky water that we’re treading can be settled and cleared with a commitment to peace. And even if, in our best efforts towards this utopian ideal, we fail, then at least we know we tried…Before we burn it all to the ground and start over.

Mumpsimus: A Closer Look

When thinking of what to write this week, I waffled between poetry and writing advice, or perhaps I could delve into philosophy. The possibilities were really endless. But then I thought, why not simplify it. Down to a word. So kids, today we’re going to learn a new word (well it was new to me, I hope its new to you) and really think about its meaning and how we can use it.

From this lovely book, I opened a random page and picked the first word my eyes landed on. (P.S. if you’re a poet, writer, or just a vocabulary aficionado please check it out: Dictionary of the Strange, Curious & Lovely)

yes, my desk really is this chaotic most of the time

Mumpsimus: A view stubbornly clung to even after shown to be wrong; one holding such a view; [from a historical blunder for Latin sumpsimus (we have received)]

I thought this was such a timely word and something that seems incredibly relevant today. But let’s break it down a little.

This word first appeared around 1520-30 when a Catholic priest accidentally used mumpsimus instead of sumpsimus (to take) and refused to admit his mistake and change the word when confronted with the correct one. This process of near-homophony has other literary variants, from mondegreen to malapropism (you’ve probably heard that one before), and earslip. But the key to this is the refusal to admit to the mistake when confronted with the correct use.

I can’t be the only one who has known a person who has done this. Made a mistake and rather than correcting themselves when prompted, did not want to risk his fragile ego. As a result the word or action becomes commonplace, although wrong and misused. All because he could not own to the mistake and correct himself. It has been a common practice in my black belt training, when a higher-ego mistakes a technique and rather than correcting himself, changes the entire technique and makes everyone relearn it to the ‘corrected’ version simply because saying “You’re right, sorry, I messed up” would, I assume he thinks, make him look stupid, rather than human.

On a grander scale, the idea of recognizing and admitting a mistake from our public officials and those launching into a useless war, practice this on the daily. Misconstruing mistakes into ‘new truths’ that, they believe, if are offered repeatedly (and loudly) will become actual truths. It’s the job of a well-informed, well-read society to catch these mistakes and make them known. If nothing else, to not adopt the false truths, just because some guy at a pulpit or podium proclaims them to be true. Keep practicing the correct technique to make sure you don’t skew or ruin the concept beneath it. You don’t want your truths or your techniques to not work when they are most needed, after all.

This word, mumpsimus, can also be applied to accepted beliefs or views that are proven wrong by scientific, socially studied, and tested facts. The world was once believed to be flat. This was proven to not be true by centuries of studies and scientific testing. To continue to believe the world is flat, because someone on a podcast theorizes it, is a mumpimus belief. And it makes you look stupid. Because believing things that have been proved to be incorrect makes you stupid. Vaccines don’t work. Gayness can be prayed away. Women are naturally nurturing and weak. Men don’t cry. All of these erroneous concepts, I believe, are kept close to heart (but loud on social media posts) when people are afraid to admit that they have been wrong. They double down on their hatred and stupidity, hoping that the fervor in their convictions will somehow make them true.

But it doesn’t.

So, now you know. Mumpsimus. Don’t be one. Don’t have beliefs based on them. Call them out when you see them. And send me some of your favorite malapropisms.

The Beautiful Writers Workshop #16: High Emotion Words

…did no one else start singing Whitney Houston after that title?

“I get so emotional baby, every time I think of yoouooouu…”

No?

Well then go back to bed, get up again, and rethink your life.

Whitney
I don’t know why I like it…but I just do.

Today we’re getting off the poetry train (thank god, we thought it would never end!!!–ungrateful louts) and getting back into other aspects of writing, specifically word choice.

Now, I guess you could argue that this is related to poetry but right now I want you to think about words in terms of the emotions they convey and why using the wrong word can lead to either a tepid response in your reader or just plain confusion.

This is a good time to bring up the death traps of “very”, “really” and any “-ly” word you tend to over use. Chances are if you are using one of these precursors or the dangling adverb-maker, there is a better word out there for the emotion you are trying to evoke.

(He wasn’t very sorry. He was contrite, remorseful, ashamed. She wasn’t very pretty. She was luminous, stunning, bonnie or even fetching if you feel somewhat Scottish)

Remember, your ultimate goal is not to have your book or story be the one that readers want pick up because it’s an apt substitute for melatonin. You want them to not be able to put the book down, unless they need an emotional respite from the roller coaster you sent them on. So your word choice, in addition to being like an arrow to a bullseye, needs to light up hard or intense emotions in their brains.

I’m going  to offer an important disclaimer…I’ll even go so far to say as it’s imperious. Just like eating cake every day for every meal, or riding twenty rollercoasters back to back to back, too much of a good thing is NOT a good thing. When you overuse these impactful words, they start to over power the reader’s ability to keep up, in addition to that, you start to sound like a goddamn narcissistic douche bag.

“Watch me word, Underlings! Witness the power of my supreme expression of the English language! Cower to my mighty thesaurus and the power of my underused MFA!”

scholar
Sure, but it keeps him from licking his balls.

ahem…you get the idea. Overuse of ‘heavy’ or ‘flowery’ language will disenchant your readers and come across as dishonest (i.e. fake like a Kardashian’s talent).

Take a scene from your current book and highlight or “find” all of your adverbs and precursors. You don’t have to replace them all but particularly (yes thats a -ly word) pay attention to the ones that describe meaningful or pivotal scenes, where you want the reader to feel what your character feels.

Jane wasn’t very sad. She was decimated. Desmond wasn’t very angry, he was enraged. Katelyn wasn’t very happy she was glowing with a newfound sense of hope.

There you go. That’s your job for this week. Oh, and here are a list of heavy-emotion words if you need a little help. If you find one or two inspirational, meaty if you will, find a home for them in your work, where appropriate.

Positive:

Jubilant, elated, ecstatic, contented, serene, vivacious, encouraging, blissful, pleased, enchanted, warm, sunny, joyful, anticipation, admiration, exquisite, graceful, delighted, amused, amiable, dazzling, mesmerizing, captivating, invigorating, splendid, charming

Negative:

Oppressive, sardonic, overbearing, irritated, obnoxious, disgruntled, disenchanted, distressed, miserable, sadistic, resentful, aggravated, sour, crippling, debilitating, horrified, heavy, loathing, disgust, desperate, contempt, brutal, bloody, flawed

Others:

Evenhanded, indifferent, passive, apathetic, secretive, secular, pious, composed, awestruck, mysterious, ambivalent, horrified, pragmatic, cautious, accepting, reserved, pensive, vigilance, ancient, delicious, feeble, solemn, famished, puzzling, complicated, massive, skeletal, tremendous, efficient