On Getting Un-Stuck

Argh… I have to tell you, there’s nothing more frustrating than staring at that blinking cursor with no words to keep it moving. I know I’ve long been a denier of the “writer’s block” theory. That we are only blocked when we stop moving and that every word out is a word that counts. But I’ve never felt this severe shortage of words before.

I’m a voracious writer when I get in my zone. To be clear, they aren’t the best chunks of writing every time and there’s often a lot of editing that needs to follow. But when it comes to the count, I’m kind of a rock star. Until this book. This final in a series of three. This book with a deadline. This book that should be no problem to write, because it has four of my favorite characters, and a fun premise, and all the adventure and romance available to it. This book that has stalled out on the sandy streets of 1920’s Cairo and I can’t seem to get it started again. It’s like I ran my character’s path straight into the side of a pyramid and there’s no where else to go.

So what does a writer do? When they’re boxed in? When they’ have 30,000 more words to get written in the span of a month? And the story is finished?

Well, we pivot. The book must go on. The story is not over, it’s threads are just hidden away. I’ve lost the path, perhaps even took an unintended side street that was not meant to be their final course. So, I’m struggling this week with some of my tried and true practices for ending the block and finding my way back into the flow. Normally, it would include taking a break and a step back to write something else, but I’ve been doing that. My brain has had plenty of breaks…I’m not gentle parenting her anymore. It’s time for tough love. Behold the bullet list.

  • I will write my major characters into a different scene, in a different place/time and see what happens
  • I will write three different endings to the story and work my way backwards from my favorite.
  • I will work my way backwards from my least favorite.
  • I will go back through and re-read the first three chapters, writing 1000 words as a continuation from those initial, more inspired thoughts.
  • I will look back through my synopsis of the series, see what was promised, and find two scenes to complete (out of order)
  • I will write at least three heated and NSFW scenes between characters that may or may not make it into the book to reestablish their passion and their dynamic so I can re inject some of that into the story-line that’s grown cold.
  • I will write my publisher, admit to my struggles, and ask for a respectable extension. Then I will give myself reasonable word count goals to get to that date, with room to spare for editing.

Okay, well, now that my plan is public I have no other choice to follow it. Sometimes the accountability of admitting to our failings and planning out what we intend to do, helps to keep the urge alive. Thanks for being my sponsors. Happy writing this week. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Poetry 7-3-25

Travel leads to thoughts. Interesting new connections and inspirations do too… Travel also leads to not a lot of time getting to sit down and make up blog posts. So I hope you’ll forgive me for posting two poems in a row. This is an older one, not in my current headspace, but always, somehow, tattooed beneath my skin.





Remember Your Lines

What does depression feel like?

Like I want to sleep forever

but every time I fall into that

blissful unconsciousness,

I hope I never come back out

that it’s just a peaceful send off

So long…have a good flight

Don’t call when you get there.

Because…that would be weird

And freak everyone out…

It feels like…

I can’t feel

sunshine, or joy, or pride, or hope

I’m a slab of granite,

wavering on two crumbling pillars of sandstone

stuck in quicksand and sinking

and I don’t care if I go under

in fact, I welcome it and hope

it suffocates me

with calm commands,

breathe in…breath out…and hold

like an MRI of your final moment

but it never tells you

to breath in again

Depression feels like

I have no energy in my synapses

and even if I did, nothing I could do with it

would be worth anything to anyone

least of all myself

Depression is a gray, weighted blanket

only not for comfort, it’s for the unsurmountable load

that life gives you to carry

and you just can’t find a good enough reason

to carry it anymore;

but you can’t find your way out

from underneath it either

Depression is seeing through eyes

that are a movie screen

to an audience that lost its will to care

lacks empathy, doesn’t recognize

Art

or love

or fleeting time

or beauty

Depression is a cage that I shout meaningless words out of,

fake platitudes

in hopes no one else falls into the cage next to me

I’m fine!

You’re fine,

you’re fine, baby girl

you’re fine…

I love you

it’ll be okay

It’ll be okay is tattooed beneath my skin

so that I don’t forget these

lines to a play that I rehearse and repeat,

back to the world that asks

Are you?

Okay?

I look down to the scars I once cut

but can’t cut again; they’ll see

Children learn from watching

so I don’t show,

I tell…

I tell lines

I tell them the lines I need to tell

I tell them,

Though the world is burning around us

and women will never be safe

and human lives don’t matter

cattle for the breeding grounds or

simply to slaughter to the gods of capitalism

Stop!

don’t say that…

don’t project the hopeless…

Read the line

Read the provided line

not the truthful line

of scars….

It’ll be okay

I’m

Okay

You’ll be…

… will you be?

Okay?

Depression is lying to loved ones

so you never have to worry that you’ll be

their downward spiral,

the same scythe of your mother’s loss

that cut you down

Cause we’re all Ok

we just need to…

I just need to

Remember my lines

Poetry 6-27-25

I am a day late. Well a day for me. For you it’s 11pm but I’m just getting in from a morning run in Stockholm and realized I didn’t set up my blogs for while I was away. I don’t have much, as my trip has a rather demanding schedule and I’m trying to soak in these last few moments with my baby before she flys the nest. So here’s a poem. Next week I will try to do a little better.

Anticipation

Was there ever such sweet anticipation
as a cherry in June?
Held, eager between teeth
where cold water droplets
tease the tongue
before the crisp breaking
of delicate skin
the flush of sun-warmed tartness
carrying along the sugary bite
but tender must teeth sink
to gently toy with the unyeilding stone
sucking it free of bright red pulp
til pristine pebble
is all that's left

Living in Abundance

I love this word. Abundance. Say it to yourself. Abundance. It feels full and heavy, it feels like satiation and potential. I love when my yoga teacher tells me to widen my stance, when bending forward to make space for my Abundance. It feels like a loving way to approach what we have, and to be content in our space.

As a creative, abundance is not something we may consider. In fact, if there’s anything a writer is good at, it’s practicing the fear of Abundances counter point; scarcity. Scarcity says that there won’t be a next idea. There won’t be a next poem or painting or song. Scarcity says you better hang on to this project and keep working on it, because it’s the only one you have. Scarcity will tell you lies of the well inside you, drying up. That once you expend so many words, there will be no more. Once you complete this idea, that will be the end of your road and maybe your career. So hang on, greedily to that idea, to that brilliant book proposal, that one perfect poem. It could be stolen or critiqued apart, or lost. Best to hold it close to you, where it maintains a certain pristine quality. Your precious.

The funny thing about scarcity, and abundance, is that they are both self- fulfilling states of being. When we hold on to one idea, one book, one poem…our hands are useless to catch more, to reach for more, to hold more. I know, its scary. To think that this might be your last, great idea. To let it go, either out into the world, or back into the drawer for a later date. It might feel (especially when you have been working on the same novel or project for years) that this is it. All you will ever be. All you will ever write. The great American novel, never to be surpassed. Perhaps you worry you’ll never write anything as good again ( I feel that, acutely friends) But I’m here to tell you from experience, that its a good time to look at it from a different perspective.

You see, your creativity and your potential to make more art, pursue different stories, write more…it’s endless. It is a bottomless well of energy. And even after we’re gone, the things that we put into the world spark more ideas, and more stories, so really…think of your writing and creativity as a river, not a stagnant pool. When you dam it up, from fear, from worry (I’ll never write another poem this good, my novel isn’t ‘ready’) stagnation will occur. It is the only idea (ie water) in your pond. Letting it go, releasing that barrier, putting it out, submitting it, allows the water to flow freely again.

Creativity, in this way, is abundant. It is a river that we dip our hands into and grasp the ideas that come our way, play with them, run with them, drink them in (don’t drink river water, please, giardia–Beaver Fever–is real) and then when its time, let them go down stream and sit along the banks for the next one to come along. And it will come.

How do we let go? We let others see it, we make the best changes we can and throw it out into the world. Be conscious that once you let it go, its a bird flown from the nest. It might come back to visit, but you are no longer it’s home, it belongs to the world now and you have a big beautiful space (time and mental playground) for the next hatchling.

I’ve used so many metaphors in this thing, I think I got lost myself. Rivers, birds, abundance. Always abundance. You have it. You have room for all the beautiful things in your brain and those that haven’t been found yet. So let go of the fear that you’ll dry up. Loosen your hands around your one great idea so you can embrace the potential of you.

Happy and Safe Pride

In honor of Pride Month and celebrating all of the amazing human beings, in their struggled to be themselves, live fully, and be safe from violence and oppression, I’m doing all I can to support LGBTQ+ writers and poets. Listed below are a group of wonderful authors and their work that you should check out. If you can buy from them directly do, and leave positive reviews if you have some to give. Each one is an opportunity to learn, to grow, to understand and to find connection. Not just this month, but every month. Enjoy and be the loving force for change you want to see in the world.

  • One Day I Will Write About This Place: A Memoir by Binyavanga Wainaina
  • As Beautiful as Any Other: A Memoir of My Body by Kaya Wilson
  • La Bâtarde by Violette Leduc, translated by Derek Coltman
  • The Truth About Me: a Hijra Life Story by A. Revathi, translated by V Geetha
  • The Sex Lives of African Women: Self-Discovery, Freedom, and Healing by Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah
  • The Pink Line: Journeys Across the World’s Queer Frontiers by Mark Gevisser
  • Modern Nature by Derek Jarman
  • My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Nagata Kabi, translated by Jocelyne Allen
  • People Change by Vivek Shraya
  • Asylum: A Memoir & Manifesto by Edafe Okporo
  • Welcome to St. Hell: My Trans Teen Misadventure by Lewis Hancox
  • We Have Always Been Here: A Queer Muslim Memoir by Samra Habib
  • Dear Senthuran: A Black Spirit Memoir by Akwaeke Emezi
  • The Other Side of Paradise by Staceyann Chin
  • Red Azalea by Anchee Min
  • Me Hijra, Me Laxmi by Laxminarayan Tripathi, translated by PG Joshi and R. Raj Rao
  • They Called Me Queer compiled by Kim Windvogel and Kelly-Eve Koopman
  • Unicorn: The Memoir of a Muslim Drag Queen by Amrou Al-Kadhi
  • Angry Queer Somali Boy: A Complicated Memoir by Mohamed Abdulkarim Ali
  • Thérèse and Isabelle by Violette Leduc, translated by Sophie Lewis (1966)
  • Maurice by EM Forster (1971)
  • Orlando: A Biography by Virginia Woolf (1928)
  • America is Not the Heart by Elaine Castillo
  • Hotel World by Ali Smith
  • Less by Sean Andrew Greer
  • The Price of Salt aka Carol by Patricia Highsmith
  • Valencia by Michelle Tea
  • Under the Udala Trees by Chinelo Okparanta
  • Paper is White by Hilary Zaid
  • Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg.
  • Orlando by Virginia Woolf
  • Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin
  • Sodom Road Exit by Amber Dawn
  • Angels in America: A Gay Fantasia on National Themes by Tony Kushner
  • Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistle Stop Cafe by Fannie Flagg
  • The Book of Salt by Monique Truong
  • Tea by Stacey D’Erasmo
  • Tipping the Velvet by Sarah Waters
  • Alice Isn’t Dead by Joseph Fink
  • Oranges Are Not The Only Fruit by Jeanette Winterson
  • Marriage of A Thousand Lies by SJ Sindu
  • Nightwood by Djuna Barnes
  • Tales of the City by Armistead Maupin
  • Close to Spider Man by Ivan E. Coyote
  • Jack Holmes and His Friend by Edmund White
  • A Single Man by Christopher Isherwood
  • Fruit by Brian Francis
  • Salt Fish Girl by Larissa Lai
  • Morrow Island by Alexis M. Smith
  • Pages for You by Sylvia Brownrigg
  • Confucius Jane by Katie Lynch
  • Little Fish by Casey Plett
  • Such a Lonely, Lovely Road by Kagiso Lesego Molope
  • She of the Mountains by Vivek Shraya
  • For Today I Am A Boy by Kim Fu
  • The Color Purple by Alice Walker
  • Rubyfruit Jungle by Rita Mae Brown
  • Disoriental by Négar Djavadi
  • Speak No Evil by Uzodinma Iweala
  • The Life and Death of Sophie Stark by Anna North
  • Never Anyone But You by Rupert Thomson
  • Hood by Emma Donoghue
  • Blue Boy By Rakesh Satyal
  • My Education by Susan Choi
  • Here Comes The Sun by Nicole Dennis-Benn
  • Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe by Benjamin Alire Sáenz
  • We Are Okay by Nina LaCour
  • Summer of Salt by Katrina Leno
  • 48 Shades Of Brown by Nick Earls
  • Call Me by Your Name by André Aciman (2007)
  • The Language We Were Never Taught to Speak by Grace Lau
  • Butcher by Natasha T. Miller
  • Water I Won’t Touch by Kayleb Rae Candrilli
  • The Renunciations by Donika Kelly
  • Bestiary by Donika Kelly
  • Paul Takes the Form of a Mortal Girl by Andrea Lawlor
  • You Better Be Lightning by Andrea Gibson
  • Lord of the Butterflies by Andrea Gibson
  • Black Girl, Call Home by Jasmine Mans
  • Black Queer Hoe by Britteney Black Rose Kapri
  • If They Come for Us by Fatimah Asghar
  • Nothing is Okay by Rachel Wiley
  • Cenzontle by Marcelo Hernández Castillo
  • The Tradition by Jericho Brown
  • Soft Science by Franny Choi
  • Bodymap by Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha
  • Night Sky With Exit Wounds by Ocean Vuong
  • When the Chant Comes by Kay Ulanday Barrett
  • More Than Organs by Kay Ulanday Barrett
  • Don’t Call Us Dead by Danez Smith
  • Things You Left Behind by Keondra Bills Freemyn
  • Femme in Public by Alok Vaid-Menon
  • Wild Embers by Nikita Gill
  • Chelsea Girls by Eileen Myles (1994)

BOOKS: POETRY

Honoring Your Quirk

Hello writers. How are you fairing in this strange, unhinged, cacophony of terror? Despite the political, cultural, and technological mess that we’re in, I hope that you’re shutting out distractions for at least a couple of hours a day to find some peace, and your own voice again.

Today, I wanted to talk about writing style. Not so much our voices as writers (though I’ll be covering that in a later post) but the way at which we approach the art, and the process of engaging in it. I’m in a busy season after signing on with my publishing company for another three-book series. It wouldn’t be so bad, but this is the first time I’ve proposed a series that was not yet complete. Which means, I now have a very real, somewhat daunting deadline of trying to write a novel (and polish it as well as I can) by the end of August. The first two books are done (mostly) so they will both be in editing by the end of this week. But the last book…

Let me start by explaining my process. I’ve written three trilogies. Two have been published, one is complete but won’t come out until 2026-2027. This newest one (my 4th) began with a Vella novel on Amazon (remember that flash in the pan?) and grew to a two book project that includes my first male-male romance as the second book. Both are fun, time-traveling fantasy romances, set in one of my favorite eras. All very exciting, and I had no trouble at all banging through the first drafts of them. Because I wrote them, as I always do, by puttering through whatever scene I was in the mood for at the time. Then I hodgepodged them together, as I always do, and fill in the gaps where needed.

Now that you have a little insight to my style (non-chronological, emotionally driven panster) I must tell you what a struggle this last, unwritten novel in the series is becoming. Because I had to write a proposal, I outlined it for my publisher. I never outline anything. I let the characters lead along a generalized path where there are key scenes I know I want to include. I had no key scenes starting out. I just knew a general path. It was all going along pretty well, for the first 20,000 words. And now…I’m stuck. I’ve pretty much written along the lines of my outline and I think the book won’t even make the 60,000 mark. In addition to that, when I’ve gone back to read, it all feels very flat. Like a Marvel movie. Like a dime-a-dozen romance. There’s no quirk. There’s no character depth. Even though it contains the same characters that I loved and developed for two books. So…what’s the deal?

Last night, after being stuck all week at that 20,000 word mark, I just let myself write a scene between the protagonist and the antagonist, a pivotal scene concerning the loss of someone very important. The concept was not in my outline. The scene was not planned, but just something my brain had been toying with in the shower after edits to the first novel started kicking in. I knew before starting this new scene, that it probably wouldn’t end up in the final version. It was just play.

But then…Suddenly there was passion. I saw true character coming out from underneath the gray and basic facade. I wrote over two thousand words in a matter of 20 minutes. That’s the kind of writing I’m used to. That’s my sweet spot. That’s my quirk. And I realized then, that for the last month I’ve been trying to write like other authors I know on deadlines. Straight through and stick to your outline. Keep it clean, time’s too limited to be able to waste it on multiple rounds of editing. The trouble is, there won’t be a book by the end of that limited time to edit, if I don’t write like my brain likes to write. I am not like any other writer. I’m quirky and I need to respect that.

So, that’s my lesson for you today. Yes, it’s important to try new methods and fart around with writing in different ways as a means to experiment and freshen up your routine, but I encourage you to find your quirk and respect it. What works for you, works. And when you’re on a deadline, do what works.

Happy writing. Now back to the grindstone.

Poetry 5-22-25

I’m in a weird mood today. This is the season of transitions, of pressures and demands, and I feel like I’m shutting down in the face of so much of it. Here’s a weird poem to align the inner workings of my mind to the outer life, relentlessly attacking.

Sweater

I put your memory on
like an old sweater
in all the little winters
of my despair

Here the arms pull through
to hide the stinging cuts
Here, ribbed neck fraying
to protect from the noose of loss

Here the cabled warmth
falling over my eviscerated belly
Here your memory tucks my vital pieces
back together, safe and warm

The woolen comfort of words
I will never hear again
from nights you probably don't remember
a softness in the dark, held briefly

I am a lint fuzz on your shoulder
but you are my favorite sweater
the one I cannot sleep without
the only thing that offers relief

Purpose and hope exist
in the scratchy bulk
of a garment I once borrowed
but was never mine to wear

I put your memory on
like my favorite sweater
in all these winters
of self-imposed despair.

Retreats, Writers, and the Greater Sum

I’m at the last day of Writing Heights yearly Spring Workshop and Retreat. It’s been a wonderful two days filled with classes, writing time, collaborations, critiques, and conversation. Normally, I don’t do much talking or reaching outside of my happy little home-body shell, so these types of events are rare and sometimes anxiety fueled.

But when you agree to take leadership of something, you don’t really have the option to sit back and let someone more extroverted take over. I believe that living a decent life has more to do with stepping outside of your comfort than constantly seeking it. And the beauty of it is that the uncomfortable and large becomes like a warm sweater and an intimate evening. I’ve been to a lot of conferences and retreats, but somehow its this group that always feels like coming back home.

If this retreat has taught me anything, its that there are so many beautiful, intelligent, thoughtful and worthy voices in this world that need to be heard. It has taught me that art is not dead, that hope is not lost, and that we are all standing on the edge of something extraordinary. To know we are not alone in the struggle, to know that someone is rooting for us to continue on, and that words still matter maybe even more than ever is enough to lift any downtrodden heart out of the mud. Separate, we are all each a powerful story waiting to be told. Together we are an ocean of love, a battlefield of strength, a universe of humanity, and the unshakeable faith that something greater will be found in the connection to this beautiful tapestry of human consciousness.

My advice to you is this. Live your life with a sense of urgency (not anxiety) and purpose. Live as if you knew you didn’t have forever to waste. Do the thing. Today. Write the words, finish the poem, read it out loud. The love of writing, of learning, and seeing new perspectives is a rising tide against ignorance and hate. The world needs you now. We must not falter.

Thank you to my amazing writers (yes I’ve claimed you as mine, like a momma duck keeps all her littles safely close) to the teachers who helped me by offering their knowledge and expertise, their warm hearts and belly laughs. I hope if you’re a writer, reading this, then you find a way to meet us in the mountains next time. Bring your heart and all your words.

Next retreat is October 16-19th in Winter Park, CO. Find out more HERE

I saved an earthworm…

To be exact, they were what I would deem a “nightcrawler”. On my rainy walk, with my rescue dog River, and her distaste for the wet (I think it’s the pit bull in her mix) we encountered the large under-dweller, struggling against the asphalt. I watched for a moment. Remembering, that as a child growing up in a dry state (Wyoming), we rarely saw worms that size. If ever you did, was a good omen to gardeners and those were the ones you never took fishing. I bent down lower than my 45 year old knees liked and gently picked up its twisting body, and placed them gently in my palm where it squirmed for freedom, even from a small safety. The rain poured down around us and I let myself feel all of the tickling, wriggling, slightly slimy motion of a life in peril. I took them tenderly towards the grass and out of the space where tomorrow’s sun on the blacktop would bake them, and set them down.

“There you go buddy, good luck.” I said and a woman walking her dog on the sidewalk, moved carefully away from me.

Why don’t we care for things anymore? When did we become so crass? How is it we have become too busy to save even the smallest of consciousnesses? I’ve been thinking a great deal about ‘modern’ life these days, and how less like actual life it feels. “Life” is suddenly something we are fed, by those who control the information. Life is on screens, and filtered to be pretty, it’s reductive, or ridiculous. Competitive and unrealistic. It’s shallow and degrading. When was the last time you held something in your hand that was real? A worm? Your child’s hand? Dirt from your garden? A pen? An apple? Someone you loved (known or in secret) arms wrapped tight and trying to stop time, just for a minute? When did you notice last, a being in struggle? Did you stop? Did you help?

I no longer want to be part of an unreal world. I don’t have years to waste on anything not authentic. What is the point? If I only have so many days, why would I spend them sucked into an algorithm? I want to hear my friend’s voices. I want to read their handwriting. I want to see them across a table or next to me on a walk. I don’t want to be force fed advertising, and told that I need wrinkle cream. As though the natural progression of my body is not something to rejoice in and enjoy. I don’t want to be told in spiraling doom scroll what this world amounts to in the number of likes or angry faces it has. Watch the volley of hatred and hurtful ignorance between neighbors be slung around like poisoned arrows. See artists reduced to fodder for machines, and the brainwashing of it all being NECESSARY, take us over, as though we have no choice in the matter. How can we really justify, as artists, “needing” a platform that abuses and misuses our hard work? I can’t. I never had any big hopes of making it in the industry anyway, so I’m not going to keep buying into a system of false promises, while it robs me of my creativity and passion.

We haven’t always been this way. Don’t you remember?

I know I will miss out. Your faces, your lives, the beauty of your progression in the world. I will not see you. I won’t get to laugh at your memes or comfort you in times of loss. But I will think of you. Just because I’m not there, posting weird writing shit, or poetry, or my bastard of a cat…I am here, thinking about you. Whether we’ve been friends since the fourth grade, or you just joined my writing group, or you read my books, or you gave birth to me…I love you. You don’t need the algorithm to tell you that. You don’t need Facebook as a go-between to keep us connected. I’m here. Loving you. Hoping good things for you. Wishing you a day better than you thought it would be, every day. Each one of you. No likes necessary.

I feel a bit like Neo. Taking the pill. To wake back up to what is real. And it’s scary. And I don’t know if I’ll just be forgotten. Maybe I will. But I suppose the hearts that forget me, I never really had residence in to begin with. Today’s the last day and I’m a little scared. The connection it offered was wonderful, the addiction it’s brought me to and the worry it sustains, is not healthy. For any of us. Here’s where you can find me:

  • BlueSky: @sereichertauthor
  • SubStack: @sarahreichertauthor
  • Website: https://www.sarahreichertauthor.com
  • email: director@writingheights.com
  • Address (I love letters and will send you one if you provide a return address): NCW, 4128 Main St, #144, Timnath, Colorado 80547

I hope I see you in the real life. I hope you find the balance you need. I hope you don’t give in to the idea that you’re data points and not a living, breathing, squirming, fighting, good-omen of humanity. I won’t be there anymore, but I’ll be around.

Photo by Grafixart_photo Samir BELHAMRA on Pexels.com

Poetry and Poetic Books

I’m going to drive ya’ll nuts, but there’s a link below, if you’re interested in buying my latest book; “No Words After I Love You”.

This stand alone novel is a journey through grief, friendship, creativity and love. It’s about how the heart heals, (or doesn’t) and all the ways humans punish themselves in an effort to be ‘strong’. It’s about deep-seated friends, the kind you’d answer the phone for, even if you don’t answer the phone. It’s about choosing your own family, and learning how to let go the wounds from the real one. Its about trying not to fall in love, even when your heart is already decided. It’s about soup, and rain on dirt roads, its about knowing how they take their coffee and a campaign for bushier, wilder eyebrows. It’s about denouncing god and still finding divinity. Check it out: BUY NO WORDS AFTER I LOVE YOU

And now, a short poem:

Daredevil

My heart does all her own stunts
Never one to sit back from the danger
or sip Rosé while someone else
takes the fall

Oh no, she's always been
all in

She sees the perilous ledge
the death defying leap
the broken bone canyon
and nods with bravado
flicks her Marlborough into the abyss
exhales the clouds of calm
and dives in

My heart does all her own stunts
but the scars are starting to show
and the puckered skin
and toughened hide
cannot beat as strongly
as her younger self once did
The bullets she's taken, stab wounds
and excisions
the irreparable losses that linger
in phantom limb syndrome
beat ragged and untimed

My heart does all her own stunts
but I cannot convince her to stop