I wrote this post in June of 2020. I was going through it, “modernizing it” and sadly not much has changed with the first paragraph. The world is still tense, but more in a ‘waiting for the trifecta atom bomb of environment/AI/Fascism to end us all” kind of tense. A bit more depressing. A bit more frustrating. So, in an effort to lighten some hearts and bring us back down to our sensual humanness, enjoy advice that’s still pretty good.

The world is a tense place right now and I know I’m not the only one who’s been suffering with a busy and worried mind. These days, these times, these overcrowded houses, and insecurities about the future don’t make for good bedfellows and it’s not just artists who are suffering.

A recent study revealed that fewer people are having sex. Especially in the younger age groups. A combination of the world’s current crises, economic disparity, job loss, women fed up with inequality, women no longer having control of their reproductive health (you can’t fucking touch me because I won’t have a choice afterwards, asshat), incels, underground dark net sites where men drug their significant others and assault them in videos for profit and ‘instructing’ purposes (thought I forgot about that? None of us should forget about that). Then there’s women’s fears of sexual violence, inequality in the emotional and mental labor at home, exhaustion, fear of war, fear of food supply. Shit… maybe I shouldn’t be writing about the erotic. Maybe we should be prepping instead.

Ahem…

A lot of younger generations are also experiencing a general unease about the current “hook up” culture in addition. All of this has left a great many of us feeling as though sex just isn’t worth all the hullabaloo. (Clear sign that people aren’t getting enough play time between the sheets is the uptake in old-timey language like “hullabaloo”, “horse feathers”, “fiddle faddle”, wisenheimer”, “canoodling” and “shenanigans”)

So, what better time to start a new literary romance novel and a romantic fantasy series? Actually there are a lot of better times, but we may only have three years left before AI kills us all, so I might as well get a few more books out, right? Despite feeling a little ‘meh’ about love in general, my hope is that it will ignite some latent ideas that will help me finish the two or three novels that have just been sitting like cold leftovers in my fridge.

I’m not sure how many of my writing clan out there dabbles in romance or what your current feelings are on the matter, but I think that when we are faced with a world in such serious and important chaos, the idea of a little escapism should not be dismissed too lightly. Passion comes in many forms, and when we stoke the fires of one form, we help to ignite the others. A passionate life is not just in the pursuit of justice, it is in the pursuit of love and happiness as well. And a good romance novel will follow this pursuit.

So, for today’s exercise, whether or not you write romance, I would like you to try your hand at a touch of eroticism (there’s a double meaning in there). I’m not suggesting you sit down and write your tawdriest letter to Penthouse. I don’t want to know about girth or the overused metaphors of trembling phalluses or ‘moist’ orifices. (Yuck, I think I just grossed myself out).

I want you to find the eroticism in the small details, objects, places, memories. Eroticism is more than just what you think of when you see an eggplant emoji.

Take your time, focus on the minute details of moments. The way a finger plucks a grape from the vine, or how a callus feels against the small of your back. Focus on the path of a rain droplet down a leaf, the low blood-warming rumble of thunder, the smell of skin warmed by sunshine. The juice of a mango running down your wrist.

Write about those moments and observations, as if it were the world teasing you.

What makes them sensual? What makes your breath quicken?

If you need more direct inspiration, here are some great suggestions from Natalie Goldberg’s “Writing Down the Bones”:

1. What makes you hot?
2. Name all the sexual fruits you know? What makes them so?
3. What do you crave when you are in love?
4. What is the most erotic part of your body? (and please, be creative, we all know the obvious ones—reach for something more interesting—well, not literally…or yes literally–what do I care what you do in the privacy of your own home? I support however you process).
5. Write the body as a landscape.
6. What do you connect with? (physicality, music, touch, words: think of this similarly as how you learn. Visually, orally, auditory, by doing, by reading?)
7. Do you remember the very first time you felt desire? When was the first time you felt erotic?

Okay! There you go, something fun to get out of the world for a minute. I hope it helps to boost your writing if not your mood. Maybe your cohabiter will even benefit from these shenanigans. As Monty Python so eloquently said: “wink, wink, nudge, nudge”.