Resolving the Past, Living in The Present

Hello gentle readers and fellow writers. It’s the first week of a new year and I think I probably gave you more advice than you really wanted last week, so this blog will be shorter and less preachy.

First, there will be some events happening in the next couple of months that I wanted you to be aware of. For instance, I’ll be in Denver at a Pop-Up Book Sale sponsored by Illumination Author Events on January 20th from 10-3. I’ll have my newer titles from 5 Prince Publishing as well as some of my older books (paranormal, steamy ghost sex anyone? witches and handyman love?). I’ll be signing books and happy to answer questions, and will be giving away some swag. I hope I can see you then!

Second, I’m back on track with my newest Kindle Vella The Three Hearts of Eve, with new episodes dropping every Friday. For a few tokens and a quick like at the bottom, you can continue to support my electricity and food habits. Seriously, these are fun little stories that are easily readable while sitting in traffic or waiting for appointments. And reading is better for you than doom scrolling so check out all your favorite authors on Vella.

Thirdly, I’m still working with the Writing Heights Writers Association as the Youth Coordinator and our classes resume in January. These classes are free, hybrid (they can attend from anywhere) and this year’s youth will have the opportunity to work on an anthology, including learning the process, getting paid for their work, and presenting the finished book at the WHWA conference this July. If you know a teen interested in writing who needs a supportive community, send them my way. (youth@writingheights.com)

That’s all of the immediate announcements, but I’d like to leave you with a final thought about New Years and resolutions.

I heard someone say that instead of making resolutions we should look to resolve something in our lives. And that actually hit home. I have a general sense of what I want to do this year, but I’ve been struggling with specific, work-related goals. When I got to thinking about resolving things, all of those hectic little post-it notes and vagabond thoughts started to fall into place.

This year I’m going to resolve projects that have been in limbo. I’m going to find closure to a few series that have been in the ‘waiting stage’ for too long. I’m going to spend some time, out of the editing sphere and into the growth mindset. I’ll be taking classes on craft (erotica and playwriting? Not together…those are two separate classes, ha ha) and different modes of writing. I’ll be reading a great deal more (next week I’ll post a picture of my proposed TBR).

2024 is about feeding my present mind with rest and softness so that it can grow into the next year, as well as tying up the loose ends of my writing past. It’s about revisiting poetry and short stories and submitting to different venues, expanding my wheelhouse and sharing what I know.

I’ll be sure to keep you posted as I progress and I hope you’ll reach out to me as well. I love to hear what your plans and hopes are. I want to know, what will you resolve in 2024?

Postulating Purpose

Hello friends. Today is the start of the Writing Heights Writers Conference here in Fort Collins, so I’ll be away from my website and blog for a few days while I help out.

I’ve been a part of the writing community for quite a few years (15?) and have attended several conferences, classes and events as both a member and now part of the team. Far from being an expert, I feel like I’m still learning things every time I step out into these forays with other writers. About writing, yes, but also about trends, and people, and methods, and humanity. And myself. Lately, I haven’t been very impressed with myself as a writer. In fact, my startling lack of creativity and drive has been kind of frightening. Even an 800 word blog post feels like a struggle. Nevermind that I have an anthology I’m supposed to be putting together in a month.

So what the actual fuck is my problem? Well…I mean I have a lot of them. But you don’t have time and nobody wants to hear the sad-sack history, but I think this particular existential crisis is coming from a hard round of lessons and the decisions I had to make because of them.

For a long time I was driven by a duel sense of purpose. But lately I’ve felt as though I’m faltering in that. Not because I don’t still love writing, or teaching, or any of the things I’m currently doing, but because I think I’ve put an unbalanced load of it all on my plate.

You see, I used to have martial arts as a balance. Something very physical, extroverted, technical to fill up the other side of my life, so that writing in its quiet, introverted, creative expanse was an equal partner. In this way my brain and body were fed, my need for social interaction balanced with my need for solitude. But now–without it in my life due to unfortunately but necessary circumstances, I’m very wobbly.

I think for too long I defined myself as both. And therein lies the problem. I have been feeling, these past months, half full. Half alive. Half of what I know I can be. I have filled the empty space with more writing obligations but it’s drained the creative parts of me. It’s made me no look forward to butt-in-the-chair time, and I am…edgy.

So the next two weeks are both filled with conferences, and book sales, and networking, and hopefully a reawakening of my creativity will be found sometime between the cocktail hours and the moderating classes. But I worry, that I will only feel more drained afterwards. And what then?

I guess it will be time to find a new balance. A new pursuit. A new purpose, to fill that other half of my soul. Breaks my heart to even consider it. This blog really doesn’t have a purpose itself. Just to let you know, I’m struggling. And as much as I love writing, I recognize that it is one piece of my soul that can’t drive my entire life, nonstop forever.

If you see me at the conference, stop and say hi. I’ll be the one juggling my existential crisis in the back of the room.