The layers of cover

are threadbare;

receding

I’ve spent so long building

these traps, these obstacles,

these ways I keep myself

safe from the world,

 

From my own heart.

 

and now they’re pulling away

like the ocean drops from the sand

Threatening to surge again.

 

But I’m tired of the weight.

I don’t want this smothering shelter

I’m tired of burying the mess

swept under thin skin.

 

I don’t want the false safety

the shroud that masks heart and desire

that hides me and my imperfect from the world.

 

I just want to be.

to stop teetering on a pedestal, while the world rocks it beneath my feet.

to stop seizing with fear

of falling.

being exposed

Naked and messy

pure form of rough-hewn human

mistakes and faults spilling out and over

ruining the world’s ideals of beauty

 

I’m tired of keeping it together.

I want to lose my shit.

and have the world be okay with that.