Obstinate

My mind is obstinate today
though the sun is well past up
and the traffic is growling 
on soft streets
like wild animals rejecting suburbia

my lights have gone out 
and I'm wrapped in gray
struggling through the muck
of a thousand demands, 
mostly self imposed
to keep me from slitting my wrists

I am obstinate today
walled up against progress and productivity
I scarcely believe there is blood 
in my veins to let out
not in the tub
not on the page

I am obstinately hollow
and feeling undeserving of the titles
"woman" and "mother"
aren't these strong, unshakeable elementals?
I am not either today

I'm simply
obstinate